


Danse Macabre

by RachaelGold



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 14:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachaelGold/pseuds/RachaelGold
Summary: Voyager returns triumphantly to earth, but the celebrations are ruined as Lessing exacts his revenge. The consequences of his action are far from what he intended. The horror shocks Chakotay out of his state of denial.Setting: immediately Post-Endgame





	1. Chapter 1

Have a nice life, she’d said earlier, as he’d exited her Ready Room, and her tone had been edged with sarcasm. For a moment, he’d been curious, but by the time he’d crossed the Bridge and entered the turbo-lift, he’d been bristling with indignation. It was as if she was dismissing him, as if she didn’t expect to see much of him from now on. She seemed to be consigning their seven year history to the rubbish can. 

Have a nice life! Well, that was exactly what he intended to do, and today was the first day of the rest of it. He smiled at Seven. She was going to be a big part of it. 

The party was by now in full swing, and he and Seven had danced several times with reasonable success. She hadn’t broken his arm or stepped on his toes or anything like that. In fact, she was looking remarkably relaxed and happy. She had made such strides to regain her humanity in the last year, that Chakotay had finally seen the woman underneath the Borg exterior. He did at least have to give Kathryn and the Doctor the credit for that. They were on their fourth or fifth date, and he thought things were going rather well between them. There had been a few raised eyebrows, when they entered the holodeck together, but nobody had made any rude comments to their faces. 

The party had been arranged by Harry Kim, Tom being somewhat pre-occupied for the moment. He had hastily arranged food and dancing, with Chell’s help, and resurrected the luau program for the evening celebrations. He’d been rather relieved that Kathryn hadn’t asked him to accompany her. They usually went to such things together, but they were out of the Delta Quadrant now, and he figured they could both relax on the formalities. He presumed she would come by herself. After all, in many ways this was her moment of triumph. But, if she didn’t show, he wasn’t going to go looking for her. He was done with that. It was almost time to stop being her First Officer, so he decided he could now be resolved of all responsibility towards her. He told himself he didn’t care anymore. She could come, be a wallflower, stay away…whatever. He didn’t care anymore. 

But she did come, looking absolutely stunning in a silky pale blue dress. Her hair was beautifully pinned up, with tendrils of red hair curling onto her forehead and slender neck. Sparkling earrings dangled from her ears, and a matching necklace fell to just above the low neckline. It soon became clear that she was in no way going to be the wallflower at this party. Rather, she was the most dazzling woman in the room, and, much to Chakotay’s horror, the men flocked from the shadows to dance with her. Harry Kim, Mike Ayala, William McKenzie, and Patrick Gibson were amongst those queuing up to take their turn with her on the floor. They all seemed to be having a fantastic time, Kathryn above all, and it was easily obvious who was the centre of attention. 

He felt rather annoyed that she hadn’t spoken to him. He wondered if she’d even noticed he was there, let alone that he was clearly with Seven. However, he’d watched her carefully since she had come into the room, and he realised that her eyes had passed over them several times, without the slightest semblance of any surprise at his being with Seven. He’d actually expected her to be rather shocked at their liaison. Instead, she seemed to be accepting it as entirely natural and established. He continued dancing, holding Seven rather tightly to him, as he thought this over. After a while, it began to dawn on him that she’d known. Somehow, by some unfathomable means, she’d already known that he was dating Seven. How did she do it? How did she know so much about what was going on aboard the ship? 

He began to wish he’d told her himself. He’d intended to, until she’d been so short with him and sent him packing from the Ready Room. Now he realised that her foreknowledge of their relationship might have been the reason for her acerbic tone. He knew that she very likely would not think him a suitable partner for Seven. She could object on age alone. Perhaps she was even jealous. Well more fool her! She’d had seven…well at least five…years to respond to his long suffering love for her, but she never had. He couldn’t wait forever. She knew that. It served her right if she was jealous. 

The proceedings were interrupted for some speeches by various crewmembers about the trials of the journey and the joys of reaching home, and were wound up by Harry congratulating and thanking the senior officers for their service and dedication in bringing the ship successfully home. He finished with a tribute to his Captain. Everybody joined in a toast to Janeway, and gave a chorus of cheers. She gave a moving response, praising her incredible crew and giving some indication of what they might expect on return. Chakotay added a few comments of his own, but by that time it was clear that everybody was impatient to get back to the festivities, and so the music struck up again. 

They danced, they drank, they ate and danced again. The evening was going swimmingly. Much alcohol had been consumed, and spirits were getting higher by the minute. The number of men vying for Kathryn’s attentions had in no way diminished. Chakotay was surprised to see Noah Lessing take her into his hands and spin her into the middle of the floor. It was a slow dance, and couples were swaying gently together to the dreamy melody. He locked Seven closely to him and spun her around. He began to wonder whether it was right that he had danced every dance with her. Would it be appropriate for him to ask Kathryn to dance? Would it be risky? She might tell him to get lost. 

An unworldly cry reverberated round the holodeck, and he froze, looking around the room in search of the source. He soon sensed that everybody else in the room had frozen too, and seconds later the music petered out discordantly. Everybody was looking towards Kathryn and Lessing. Something was wrong. Very wrong. It took him a few moments to make sense of it. Kathryn was standing, her back bent at a very odd angle, her partner’s arm still supporting her. His face was a picture of triumph, and his eyes were sparking with hatred. As they watched, Kathryn’s knees buckled and she slid slowly from his grip, her right hand gliding down Lessing's arm. She fell in a heap on the floor, her hair spreading out in disarray, her limbs sprawling outwards, her mouth opening and closing as she struggled to breathe. Her face was white with shock, as red fluid began to erupt from a gash below her left breast. Lessing stood gloating over her, a bloodied knife now clearly visible in his right hand. 

It took moments for what was happening to register with people, then suddenly firm hands grabbed Lessing and dragged him from the room. Angry shouts filled the room. The Doctor, together with McKenzie, rushed forward to assess his patient, calling almost immediately for emergency transportation to Sickbay. Chakotay, who had been numbly rooted to the spot with the shock, finally shook himself into action. He pulled himself from Seven’s grasp and took several steps towards his Captain and those around her, but before he reached them, they had already shimmered out of existence. Bewildered, he launched himself at the holodeck doors, and stumbled to the turbo-lift. 

As the doors closed, he thumped impatiently on the walls, wondering why the lift wasn’t responding. When his shocked brain finally realised that he hadn’t in fact ordered it to go anywhere, he drew breath and choked out "Deck 5!" As the lift moved, he tried to steady himself. He was normally cool headed under pressure, but he could hardly remember feeling this panicked before. Well, he could. Twice perhaps…when he’d heard the devastating news of the destruction of his family… and one other time…when he’d held Kathryn’s limp dying body in his arms once before. 

Somehow he managed to propel himself towards the Sickbay and in through the doors. His breath was coming ugly laboured gulps, and his heart was thumping so hard that he felt his chest would burst. The pain was so severe, he could almost imagine that he himself had been stabbed as well. 

He leaned on a console, as he tried to steady himself. Gradually, his eyes focused on the desolate scene before him. The Doctor was frantically scanning his patient to assess the damage. He had ripped open her dress to the waist. In horror, Chakotay took in the gorgeous pink nipple cherrying a smooth round breast, an object which had long since danced around in his imagination. In contrast, her other nipple was cloaked in shining red liquid and hanging at a grotesque angle. There was a gaping wound just below this. Little red fingerprints dotted her ribcage and parts of her dress. Kathryn herself was still barely conscious, and struggling to speak. 

Summoning all his strength he moved to her side, and lifted her right hand. He gazed down at her pale face, observing the blood on her lips. Suddenly, everything was painfully clear. The woman he loved…the only woman he loved…was lying in front of him on the brink of death. He had to tell her how he felt. These might be the last words he ever spoke to her. 

"Kathryn!" 

"Computer…transfer command…of the Starship Voyager to Commander Chakotay. Authorisation Janeway pi alpha…four…lambda," she hissed, as red froth bubbled from her lips. The computer acknowledged the transfer of command, and her eyes met his momentarily before beginning to glaze over. 

"Kathryn!" he cried frantically. "Don’t die on me! Fight this!" He saw her slipping into unconsciousness. "Kathryn, I love you! Don’t do this to me! You have to fight this! Stay here with me…" He didn’t know if she’d heard. He prayed she had. 

The machines beeped in alarm "We’re losing her! She’s in cardiac arrest!" screeched McKenzie, who had been monitoring them. 

"Out of my way, Commander!" said the Doctor impatiently, and Chakotay obediently took a few steps backwards. As he did so, he became aware of movement behind him, and he glanced around to see the doors closing on a vanishing figure. He wasted no more than a moment in wondering who it could have been. 

Turning back towards the bio-bed, he saw the Doctor administering a succession of hyposprays, and attaching various life-support equipment. 

"Doctor, what’s happening?" asked Chakotay. 

"Commander, I would ask you to not to interrupt while I treat my patient. She needs my undivided attention." 

"We could put out a plea for medical assistance from the armada out there," suggested McKenzie helpfully. 

Chakotay was about to agree to this, when the Doctor chipped in, "I don’t want any number of quacks walking in here…I think I know my patient well enough, and am myself best qualified to treat her." At this moment Tom Paris came shooting into the room. "Ahh…the cavalry arrives," he continued dryly. "About time too, if I may say so!" 

Tom swallowed at the scene before him. Moments ago he’d been happily tending to his wife and new-born daughter, but had hurried to Sickbay when he had been summoned. The situation looked bleak, and was probably worse. Immediately, his medical training took over, and he quickly sterilised himself and moved to assist the Doctor with the instrumentation. 

"Our patient is in critical condition. She has a punctured lung and some laceration of the heart muscle," intoned the Doctor, more to update Tom than Chakotay. "She has also lost a substantial amount of blood." He barked some instructions to Tom and then dismissed McKenzie. His only real use had been to help lift Kathryn onto the bed. The Doctor looked at Chakotay and told him he’d best leave too. 

The traumatised McKenzie made a quick escape. Chakotay hesitated. The Doctor looked up again. "You can’t do anything for her here, Commander!" he said in an annoyed tone. "Right now, Captain Janeway needs you to take care of her ship!" Finally, he nodded and left. 


	2. Chapter 2

He plodded to the Bridge and checked on the status of the ship. He wasn’t strictly on duty, but since he had just assumed command, he would be expected to check everything out and make a log entry. Besides, it was something to do. He couldn’t bear the thought of going to his empty quarters right now. They were still on course for earth, no problems with any of the ship’s systems. There were no enemies outside, only an escort of Federation ships. Tuvok had Lessing secured in the Brig, but was very concerned at the horrified reaction and anger of the rest of the crew, some of whom were somewhat intoxicated and baying for blood. The two discussed the problem briefly and decided on a course of action. Tuvok and his security team would have their hands full for hours. Chakotay knew he didn’t dare go near Lessing right now, lest he should rip his throat out. Tuvok, however, despite his long standing friendship with the Captain, could be counted on to deal with the situation dispassionately. 

Chakotay secluded himself in her Ready Room. He commed the Doctor, who told him brusquely that they were still working to stabilise their patient, and would he please leave them to do their jobs. They would let him know if there was any news. Chakotay noted grimly that he could still hear the monitor alarms in the background. 

He dropped his head into his hands, fighting the urge to surrender himself into the jaws of despair and guilt. For a few moments he shook, then he pulled himself together and accessed the files Kathryn had recently been working on. The transfer of command now enabled him to tap into virtually anything on her terminal. She had spent the afternoon discussing arrangements for Voyager’s return to earth, and was within a whisker of extracting a full pardon for both the Maquis and Equinox crews, with back pay. How ironic that she had spent the afternoon negotiating on behalf of the likes of Lessing! In fact, he saw that she had been tirelessly campaigning for their exoneration for months. The depth of her loyalty to her crew never ceased to amaze him, even down to the most insignificant member, no matter how flawed, foolish or incompetent. 

She had previously given him some indication that she expected no charges to be levelled against his crew, and he was very relieved to find that the agreements she had made with Federation officials earlier were likely to be ratified within hours. He opened a channel to speak to Headquarters. This latest development had to be reported and discussed. 

He had a long conversation with Admiral Hayes, who to some extent was taking decisions out of his hands. It was interrupted after about an hour by a call from Sickbay informing him that they now had the Captain stabilised, had repaired the most serious injuries and expected her to make a full recovery. A relieved Chakotay relayed the information to the Admiral. 

As he sat back, he finally began to evaluate the emotional impact of the evening’s events. First and foremost, he had to acknowledge that his love for Kathryn was still very much consuming him. She still had a profound and undeniable grip on his heart. Not only had this terrible incident brought it back into sharp focus, but he had also found himself unable to stem his bedside profession of love. Whether she had heard him or not was beside the point. He had admitted it in public, so how could he not admit it to himself? Besides, he strongly suspected that he had been overheard by someone other than the Doctor. 

He also began to wonder if the rather terse way Kathryn had dealt with him during the last twenty-four hours had meant she herself had been upset, jealous even, of his new relationship with Seven. Clearly, she had known about it, although they had tried to keep it secret. There had for a long time been something of an understanding between Kathryn and himself, that, if they had got home and were both still unattached, they would finally give the relationship a chance. They had both understood that they could never act on their attraction whilst within the command structure….or at least he had understood why she would not, but he had hoped that time or a return home would produce a change of heart on Kathryn’s part. Seven had only come about because nothing had happened until now to alter the situation, and because he believed that Kathryn didn’t return his feelings with anything like the intensity of his own. Perhaps he had been wrong…and if he was, he had been conducting himself like an idiot lately. His treatment of her had been less than commendable. 

Yes, he had loved her for a long time. Was there the slightest chance she loved him back? Despite all his attempts to suppress the growing bubble of excitement that this might in fact be the case, it refused to be quashed. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a ring of the chime, and Seven entered the Ready Room looking rather perturbed. It rather confirmed his suspicion that he had been overheard in Sickbay. 

He rose to greet her. "What can I do for you, Seven?" 

"Am I to understand that the Captain is going to recover from her injuries?" 

"Thankfully, that is the prognosis that the Doctor has given." 

"I am glad." 

"We all are." 

"But you especially." 

"She is a very special friend." 

"She is more than that." They locked eyes for a few moments. Seven seemed to be waiting for him to confess all. When he remained silent, she continued, "I heard you in Sickbay, Chakotay. You told her that you loved her. Was it the truth?" 

He studied her sadly. This was no time for lies, or even half-truths. "Yes," he replied quietly. "It was." 

"Then, Commander, there is little point in furthering our social interaction. You are not a suitable mate for me. I wish to terminate our romantic association." 

"Seven, I’m sorry…" 

"Don’t be. I am not. I will select another more suitable partner." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the Ready Room, leaving a dumbfounded Chakotay staring after her. 

Finally, he chuckled and slumped in Kathryn’s chair. "Chakotay, old man," he said to himself, "I think you’ve just been dumped!" And the relief washed over him like a spring of fresh balmy water. 

It was well into the early hours of the next morning, when he finally managed to extricate himself from the press of business, and take himself down to the Sickbay to check things out for himself. It was calm inside now. Tom had returned to his new family, and the Doctor was quietly pottering around, humming to himself, whilst keeping a careful eye on the monitors. 

Kathryn was on her back, her face ghostly pale. Her head was cradled within an oxygen rich force field, and her chest now obscured by the life-support arch. 

"How is she, Doctor?" 

"She is unconscious, but holding steady. I have repaired most of the damage, and her vital signs are slowly improving. I will gradually reduce her dependency on the life support systems, and she will have to remain here for at least the next twenty-four hours, but I am anticipating a full recovery." 

"Thank-you, Doctor," he said in relief, profoundly grateful yet again that they had this miracle of a hologram on board. "You’ve done a marvellous job here today." 

"Hrmmf. Achieving the impossible? It’s all in a day’s work for an undervalued Emergency Medical Hologram." 

"Never think that you are undervalued here. The Captain and I both appreciate the skill and dedication you show to your work. There can hardly be a member of the crew, who hasn’t at some point owed their life to you." 

The Doctor nodded, mollified by Chakotay’s recognition of his role. "Thank you. It’s good to know someone appreciates me." 

"Can I stay a while?" 

"Only for fifteen minutes. It’s the middle of gamma shift, and you need to sleep. I can see you are extemely fatigued. You will do more good for the Captain if you are up in the morning refreshed and ready to run her ship. She may well be conscious by then." 

"Will she be able to hear me?" 

"It is entirely possible." Chakotay took a chair and sat beside her limp body, taking her right hand reverently in his. For a few moments, he sat still, listening to the hiss of the machine doing much of the breathing for her, enjoying the reassurance of touching her warm vital hand. It seemed so small and delicate pressed between his huge paws. 

Eventually, he began pouring out his heart to her, and telling her how much he loved her, and how she needed to fight to get well. He hoped she could hear. The Doctor looked a few times in his direction, and shook his head incredulously. He’d seen a similar performance several times in their seven year voyage. He never could understand why these two would swear their undying love to the other’s inert body within his earshot, but would never acknowledge their feelings for each other when both of them were conscious. After a generous fifteen minutes, he ordered Chakotay back to his quarters to try to get some sleep. Reluctantly, Chakotay released the precious hand, bade its owner a good comfortable night, and trudged slowly back to his own sanctuary. 

Sleep? Who could possibly sleep after the night he’d had? Not only had it been incredibly eventful and exhausting, he had been struck by torrents of emotions. He was still caught in the whirlpool, and had barely begun to analyse his feelings and bring some sort of order to his inner turmoil. One thing was for sure, though. He was going to tell Kathryn exactly what he felt about her now. They were home, and that made all the difference in the universe to the way they were required to behave towards each other. They were home, and neither of them were involved with anyone else. Well, not anymore. So it was time to see if that ghost of an understanding, crafted so long ago, could form any substance. 


	3. Chapter 3

He did manage eventually to scrape a couple of hours sleep, until the insistent timbre of the computer woke him from a fitful doze. For a moment he couldn’t distinguish between his nightmare and reality, until his mind began to function sufficiently to latch onto the Doctor’s hopeful words of the night before. He immediately commed Sickbay for an update. He was rewarded with the news that the Captain had regained consciousness and was now sleeping. This was more than enough to set his adrenaline pumping, and he threw himself out of bed and launched himself into the day with a great deal of euphoria. Suddenly the future seemed to be full of possibilities. 

He quickly showered and dressed and took himself down to Sickbay to see the evidence for himself. 

She was indeed sleeping, but many of the instruments and the arch had gone. She was wearing a medical gown and was covered in a grey blanket. Her dress had gone for forensic testing, joining the knife as part of the evidence against Lessing. 

Her face was a much healthier colour, but her hair was a mess, evidence of the battle she had waged to survive. He spoke her name, and her eyelids fluttered and a vague hum of acknowledgement escaped her lips. The Doctor informed him that she was still sedated, and that he should come back in the afternoon if he wished to discuss anything with her. He squeezed her hand and spoke a few guarded words. He promised he was taking good charge of her ship, and then left to do exactly that. 

On the Bridge, the Duty Officer reported all systems to be operating normally and the Alpha Quadrant with its armada of Federation ships still filled the screen reassuringly. Chakotay relieved him of duty and set about burying himself in ship’s business. There was rather a lot of it. The morning sped by, and by lunch time there were some significant changes in ship’s status to report to his Commanding Officer. It occurred to him that he hadn’t eaten anything for hours, a failing more commonly attributed to his superior, and so he took himself down to the Messhall. He was accosted repeatedly on the way for information on the Captain’s progress, and he began to realise that it would probably be necessary to make some sort of ship-wide announcement just to put everybody’s mind at rest. The degree of shock felt by the crew following the incident, and their depth of concern for their Captain had amazed him, but not entirely surprised him. 

In the Messhall, he was also amazed to see Chell offering a huge array of rather delectable food, evidence that they were no longer on rations. Suddenly, he felt rather hungry. He helped himself to a vegetable risotto, and sat himself down with Mike Ayala and a few other members of his Liberty crew. Once the Captain’s condition had been dispensed with, the conversation turned swiftly to the reception they’d get back on earth. Mike seemed to have been designated as spokesman for the former Maquis. Chakotay kicked himself for not really picking up on the level of anxiety ballooning amongst his former crew…his mind had been on other things…and immediately set about deflating it. He assured them a full pardon was on its way. 

When he escaped the inquisition, he figured it was sufficiently late to classify as afternoon, so he headed again for Sickbay. He was rewarded by finding Kathryn lying quietly, but very much awake. He pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. 

"Hello, there!" 

"Hello, yourself," she managed with a little smile. 

"How are you feeling?" 

She gave a small groan, and shifted slightly to see him better. "Sore." 

"Doc says you’ll live." 

"So I hear." 

"I don’t know how you do it, Kathryn. You bring us seventy thousand horrific light years, face countless dangers, skirt death at every corner. We make it back in one piece, to the safety of Federation Space and you pull a stunt like this. What do you mean by scaring us all like this? Hadn’t we had enough excitement for one day?" 

Kathryn laughed lightly at his teasing. "I didn’t have it planned." 

"Oh, really? There we were…having the party of the decade, and you have to steal the thunder. You’re such a drama queen!" She didn’t answer, but the smile still played on her lips. His tone became a little more serious. "Lessing’s off the ship, you’ll be pleased to hear. We had to remove him for his own safety. Tuvok thought the crew were about ready for a lynching. He’s in custody on the _Capricorn_." 

"I’m not sure I want to press charges." 

"You won’t have to. The Federation prosecutors are onto it already. They’ve no end of willing witnesses, not to mention a confession from the man himself. Apparently, he didn’t mean to kill you, though he damn near succeeded. Just _to make you know how it feels!_ " 

"Oh, I understand why he did it." 

"Now don’t give me that! Don’t you dare go off on some ridiculous guilt trip. This is not your fault. Nothing you did to him could ever justify what he did to you!" 

"I know that. Don’t imagine that I beat myself up about what I did. I know I crossed the boundary, let anger cloud my judgement, but things are never black and white. It was never my intention to kill him, just to extract information from him. You know as well as I that if I had succeeded, Starfleet would have covertly applauded my strategy, but if he had ended up injured or worse, I would have been court-martialled. It was a huge gamble, but we were in a desperate situation, and sometimes we are forced to act out of that desperation. Don’t tell me no member of the Maquis ever tortured a Cardassian for information. It’s a vile hostile universe out there. To venture into it you have to be prepared to face up to the dangers and darkness. That’s the grim reality of life beyond Federation space. My decision may not have seemed right in the cold light of day, but it was my decision to make, and I can live with it. What I meant was, that I can also understand his reaction. That is part of the consequences of my action, and it is something I can live with too." 

Chakotay nodded, wondering whether he’d had a harder time dealing with the aftermath of the incident than she had. It was beginning to filter into his mind that Lessing had been the prime cause of the distance that had opened up between Kathryn and himself. Their relationship had never quite been the same since. Was that when he first began to imagine himself no longer in love with her? Which had, of course, ultimately led to his relationship with Seven. Now, ironically, it had been Lessing that had jolted the truth out of him, forced him to focus on the workings of his heart, and acknowledge the fact that he had been kidding himself all this time. He had never stopped loving her. He had only pretended to himself that he had. 

"I do regret that it affected our friendship," Kathryn continued. "I hated living with your disapproval and resentment. I believe I lost a lot that day. It cost me dear." 

He looked at her curiously, not quite believing she was willing at last to talk about their relationship. 

"You never lost my friendship." 

"No, but you had me on a pedestal, Chakotay. It wasn’t healthy. Then you found out I’m not perfect, and I’m not sure you ever got over the shock." He was at a loss for words for a moment, rapidly searching his brain to assess whether there was any truth in what she said. Perhaps there was, but just as he was attempting to formulate some sort of reply in his mind, she disappointed him by redirecting the conversation. Why could they never talk the important things through? 

"Will I have to give evidence?" 

"No. Probably not. The man has confessed." 

"How did he get his hands on the weapon?" 

"Apparently he smuggled it on board hidden within a metal artefact he purchased on some planet we stopped by. He’d been planning it for years. He was going to bring you down in your moment of triumph." 

"God knows how much hatred he must have been storing up. The man must have been torturing himself for years." 

"Well, he’ll spend the rest of his life torturing himself some more. They’re talking twenty years in a high security facility." She gave a small shake of the head, as if she didn’t quite believe this. 

After a pause, she asked, "How’s the ship?" 

"Spirits, woman, you must be ill. We’ve been talking for twenty minutes, and you’ve only just asked me how your ship is." 

She threw him an exasperated glare. "We are in Federation Space, Chakotay. I sincerely hope there is nothing much to report." 

"Relax, she’s in fine fettle. Several repair teams have beamed onto the ship to ensure that she’s looking immaculate when we get to earth." 

"Too bad I’m gonna miss the show." 

"Well tough, you’re not! They’ve ordered us to slow down. We’re not arriving for another five days. Starfleet have a big celebration lined up, as you already know. Fly up the West Coast. Bad news…Tom has a barrel roll planned, and some stunt at the Bridge. Land the ship at the Presidio. Ticker-tape parade. Cameras. Interviews. Tours of the ship. The works. They’re expecting tens of thousands to turn out to watch. Millions more by video-link. There’s no way they’re going to let it go ahead without the star of the show. You’re the blue-eyed girl of the moment, and you're going to have to put up with it like the rest of us." 

"Oh, Chakotay, the crew will be disappointed about the delay. They must be so anxious to see their families!" 

"They thought of that. There’s a ship full of them headed this way as we speak." 

"Hrmmf," interrupted the Doctor, "I think you’ve tired my patient long enough. She needs to rest." 

"Okay," Chakotay conceded. "I’d better go." He squeezed her hand. "Get your strength back. We’re all missing you. You’ve no idea how gutted the crew are about this. I’ll make an announcement to tell them you’re on the mend?" The last was asked in a tone that begged approval, and she nodded her agreement. 

"Chakotay, keep an eye on Tom. It would be the debacle of the century if we made it all the way from the Delta Quadrant, only to crash the ship on bunch of expectant dignitaries waiting at the Presidio." 

"That would be quite something," he agreed with a grin. "Well, I think you should trust him. He knows what he’s doing. He won’t do anything too risky with his wife and daughter on board." 

Kathryn smiled fondly at the image of B’Elanna holding Miral here in this very room only twenty four hours earlier. "Well, your opinion of Tom has changed!" 

"Would you rather I piloted?" 

She laughed. "NO! Don’t you dare go near the helm. Besides, your butt won’t fit in the seat." 

"Spirits, what an insult! There’s nothing wrong with my butt." He noted a rather curious expression dance momentarily across her face, before dissolving into a grin. Interesting, he thought. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with his butt either. In fact, she probably found it rather attractive. Suddenly, he felt himself thrown back a few years, to a time when they teased each other relentlessly. To a time when gentle flirting was the norm in their relationship. To a time when he’d been pretty sure she did like his butt. How badly he’d missed that comfortable relationship, so heavy with promise! Slowly, but surely, it had faded away. Now he knew for certain that he wanted it back. And more. 

"Well then, you’d better triple check the inertial dampers." 

"Yes, ma’am!" he said with mock severity. "Leave it all with me, my dear. Don’t you worry about a thing. Just relax and get yourself well." Chakotay was pleased to notice a flicker of surprise in her eyes at his use of the term of endearment. She’d better get used to it, he thought, as he bade her farewell. There’s going to be a lot more of that coming her way. He left Sickbay with a spring in his step. 

* * *

  


The remainder of the afternoon was taken up with discussions and planning in conference with Headquarters. The pardon for the Maquis came through, although the Equinox crew would have to wait. The issue had been clouded by Lessing’s attack. The judiciary wanted to investigate if any of the others had in any way supported his action before dismissing the case against them. Lessing had by now been formally charged, and statements had been taken from a number of the crew. Chakotay made his planned ship-wide announcement regarding the Captain’s health, and wished her a speedy recovery on behalf of the crew. He also took great pleasure in announcing the pardon of the Maquis. 

He managed to spend an hour with Kathryn in the evening, but he did not get her to himself. There were other visitors, among them B’Elanna came briefly with Miral. They were all eventually shooed out by the Doctor. He spent another couple of hours celebrating with Mike and the other Maquis, before retiring. 

The nightmares of the previous night were gone. Tonight, he was in a much more relaxed and optimistic frame of mind, and he soon fell into a blissful sleep. Tonight, his dream was rather delicious. The object of this dream had red hair and wore four pips, at least she did at the beginning. And boy, did they do some interesting things together after that. 

* * *

  


The following morning, when he went to Sickbay, he found Kathryn gone. The Doctor informed him that he had released the Captain to her quarters, although she was not to be left alone for the time being. Apparently, there was a list of nigh on one hundred and forty volunteers willing to give their time to watch over her. 

He took himself along to her quarters and was admitted by Tal Celes. She informed him that the Captain was asleep, and he glanced through the open door, catching sight of an endearing small mop of red hair protruding from the bedcovers. 

He had a hard time persuading Celes to leave. He had it in mind to take over the job full time. She informed him that the Doctor was insisting that only female crew took on the task, but Chakotay argued that, having spent ten weeks alone with her on a planet, they were pretty relaxed with each other. He could most definitely handle it, and if the Captain had any problems with it, he could easily summon her back. Celes reluctantly left. There is only so far you push an argument with your First Officer. 

Chakotay pottered about her lounge for a couple of hours, nosing through her books and reading a little, till he heard her stir. He stood in the doorway, watching her thrash about, patiently waiting to ensure she was awake. A few groans indicated she was still in pain, but she eventually became aware of the figure watching her, and two cool blue eyes gradually focused on him. 

"Good morning." 

"What are you doing here?" she asked, vaguely annoyed. 

"I am now officially your nurse." 

One eyebrow twitched. Kathryn was unsure whether this was a good idea. "Shouldn’t you be on the Bridge?" 

"Well, no. You and I have both been relieved of duty. They’ve sent over the Captain Wilcox and Commander Brotak from the _Deliverance_ to assume command for the time being." 

"They relieved you of duty? Whatever for?" she asked, slightly alarmed. 

"My choice. I told them my best friend needed my undivided attention. Well, they offered and I accepted. It’s only temporary, Kathryn. We can have our seats back for the final approach." 

"So you’re here to plague me instead?" 

"That sounds about right." She groaned. "To tell the truth, I’m glad to get out of your Ready Room. The Brass have turned up and are poring through the logs." This was met with yet another groan. "Relax. You don’t have a thing to worry about, Kathryn. You’re so meticulous, and to say they’re impressed would be an understatement." 

She struggled to sit up, and he had to rush forward to help her. Lifting her body, he plumped several pillows, and used them to support her back. She was still wearing the medical gown and a monitor on her neck. She was very pale, and her hair somewhat dishevelled. Her ill health was still very evident, but her eyes were cool and clear. "How’s the war wound?" 

"Still pretty sore." 

"Guess it’ll take awhile. Are you hungry?" 

"Dying for a coffee." 

"Off the menu I’m afraid. No caffeine. It affects the heart-rate." 

"Just my luck. The one thing I’ve come home for, and it’s off the menu." 

"I sincerely hope it isn’t the only thing you’ve come home for," he said, searching her face carefully. Was there any hint in her expression, that she might think that he was worth getting home for? As she sat, chewing over his words suspiciously, he observed a glimmer of curiosity in her eyes, before they both relaxed and exchanged tiny smiles. "I’ll fetch you some breakfast." 

He set about making her the most delectable breakfast, and was rewarded by her appreciative consumption of a good sized portion of it. He sat on the end of the bed, joining her in the repast, and chatting idly. When he removed her tray, he asked what else she would like him to do. 

"Well, I’d like to get cleaned up. My hair feels filthy…and this gown is so scratchy." 

"I’m sure we can do something about that. How about a shower?" 

"I’d love one, but it’ll have to be a hydro-shower. Sonic showers are out for three weeks. Doctor’s orders." 

"Well, Captain, I’m pleased to announce that ship’s water supplies are fully replenished. Rationing is officially suspended," he grinned, leaving the room to dispose of the breakfast dishes. He returned to find her slumped back against the pillow, already looking exhausted. 

"Still want that shower?" 

"Yes," she said with a sigh. "I need the bathroom." 

He drew up beside her and held out his arms for support. With difficulty, he levered her out of bed, and found he had to support her rather more than he anticipated, as they slowly shuffled to the bathroom. He left her alone to use the toilet and clean her teeth, but then everything went silent, until something clattered on the bathroom floor. 

"Kathryn?" 

"Ye-es?" 

"Are you alright in there?" 

"N..not really," came a rather shaky reply. He came through into the bathroom, where she was supporting herself at the sink, struggling to breathe and looking close to collapse. The toothbrush was half-way across the room. He hastily grabbed a chair and sat her on it. After a few moments of hefty breathing, she began to recover her composure. 

"Here, are you okay? Shall I call the Doctor?" 

Eventually, she answered, "No…no…I’ll be alright in a minute." He rubbed a hand comfortingly across her shoulders, wishing whole-heartedly that he could do more. "I guess the shower’s out…I couldn’t stand for long." 

"How about I put the chair in it?" he asked. "Or better yet, run you a bath?" He observed a spark of interest in her eyes. "Right, a bath it is, then!" 

"Chakotay, I don’t think I could get myself in it, let alone climb back out again!" 

"Well, I’m here to help!" She rolled her eyes at him, as if to emphasise the sheer stupidity of his inappropriate suggestion. "Kathryn," he continued gently, "There’s no point being bashful here…I saw everything, when you were in Sickbay. You’ve nothing to hide from me." This was, in fact, a slight exaggeration of how much he’d seen, but he wasn’t going to say so. Kathryn thought this over for a moment. Much of what had happened at that time was a painful blur, but she dimly remembered Chakotay being there, even coming up beside her and saying something. What it was she couldn’t remember, but she began to realise that she had been in some state of undress, something she had been in no condition to care about at the time. "Let me fill a bath for you." She nodded her acquiescence. 

He released her from his grip to fill the bath, whilst keeping a watchful eye on her. She seemed to be recovering from her giddy turn. He decided to fill the bath with bubbles, so that she would feel less exposed. When he was satisfied he had it perfect, he turned to her and smiled. 

"Ready?" 

She nodded, and he lifted her from the chair to a standing position. Slowly he slid the medical gown off her shoulders, and Kathryn’s eyes were irresistibly drawn to the mirror. She was naked, except for a pair of briefs, and feeling a little self-conscious. Chakotay, standing behind her, lifted his eyes and met her mirrored gaze. Then, she couldn’t help herself. She had to inspect the wound. Her eyes left the mirror and looked down, as her right hand came up under her left breast. Again, Chakotay’s eyes followed her gaze. He had his right hand under her right arm, supporting her, but was standing sufficiently to the left side of her to see the remnants of the injury clearly. The new-formed skin was red and angry, although there was no sign of any potential scar tissue. The area spread across her ribcage and a small way onto the underneath of her left breast, but the nipple now was pale and lovely. His reached forward with his left hand and reverently touched the new reddened skin, running his fingers tenderly across the marks. Kathryn sucked in her breath, perplexed by his action and rather uncomfortable at the close scrutiny, but she couldn’t help a little flutter of excitement as her heart skipped at his touch. 

"Beautiful!" he announced. 

"Beautiful?" she said in disbelief, the confusion growing by the minute. What was he saying, and why was he touching her with this kind of delicacy? 

"Well, it will be in a few weeks." 

"Chakotay….I don’t think you should be…" then she winced in pain. 

"Sorry, my dear. I didn’t want to hurt you." He moved his hand away. This hadn’t been what she had been about to complain about, but she let it pass. Their eyes met again in the mirror. She was still feeling very confused. Why was he touching her like that? Why was he staring like that? It definitely exceeded the bounds of nursing care. Chakotay seemed to be drinking everything in, burning everything into his memory. It had been an incredibly poignant and intimate moment. Suddenly feeling rather conscious of the heat of his gaze, she lifted her arms to cover her breasts. In response, his arms slid underneath hers and across her belly, as he pulled her backwards into the embrace of his body, planting a kiss on top of her head. 

"Kathryn," he said in a soft teasing tone, "There’s no need to hide anything. Why on earth should you feel embarrassed in front of your future husband?" 

Kathryn gasped and her eyes widened. "What did you say?" she asked anxiously, twisting to look him in the eye. Had she heard him right? Was he toying with her, or did he mean it? 

"You heard!" 

"Chakotay, don’t play with me!" she pleaded. 

"Oh, that’s exactly what I intend to do, as soon as you’re well enough. So, you’d better hurry up and get better. I’ve waited long enough to make love to you!" He was rather enjoying tantalising her as he directed the conversation. 

"Aren’t you being rather presumptuous?" 

"Oh, I don’t think so. Can you tell me…honestly…it’s not what you want?" 

There was a long pause before she answered shyly, "You know I can’t." 

"Right answer!" he said, pulling her closer. "Otherwise, I’d have been out of that door and out of your life in a nano-second." 

"But what about Seven?" 

"Seven who?" 

"Chakotay!" she admonished. 

"Okay, okay….we’re over. We never really started." 

"But…isn’t it what you want?" 

"This is what I want…what I’ve always wanted. Never doubt it for a second!" he said nuzzling the top of her head. "Kathryn Janeway, you have slipped through my fingers long enough. I’ve no intention of standing for it any longer. Okay?" 

"Okay." They stood for a few minutes, by now locked in each others’ arms, dreamily enjoying the novelty. 

"This isn’t how I planned on getting you naked!" 

He felt her smile against his shoulder. "Nor I." 

"Your bath’s getting cold," he continued, loosening his hold. She nodded, and steadying herself with one hand on his arm, slipped off her panties and climbed into the water. 

"I’ll be back in a minute to help you wash your hair." 

"Thank you, Chakotay." 

"My pleasure," he smiled. 


	4. Chapter 4

Later, he settled her on the bed, wrapped in a fluffy white towel and set about drying her hair. They talked comfortably at last about their relationship, much to Chakotay’s delight. It had been a very touchy subject over the last seven years, but, as he had anticipated, being home made all the difference. Finally, she was willing to countenance it, as they looked forward to being relieved of their command responsibilities. He found that all she needed was reassurance that it was what he truly wanted, and he gave it to her by the bucketful. 

As he tenderly smoothed her hair around her ears, he had to admit he hadn’t done a particularly good job as a stylist. However, they smiled happily at each other, and he leaned forward to capture a first tentative kiss. Just a brush of a kiss. Lips touched like a breath of wind, before falling away. But then he leaned in again for a much more demanding kiss. This was a heady hungry kiss, fuelled by seven years of denied passion. Her mouth opened to allow him to explore, and for a few precious moments they revelled in the delicious heat sent sparking through their bodies. Then he heard her struggle for breath and pull away. He realised she was still too weak to push it far. 

"Sorry," he said, but the apology was in her eyes. "You really are going to have to get your strength back quickly!" 

"Well, I have one hell of an incentive to get well now!" 

His eyes twinkled at her. "Trust me, woman. You are going to be amazed at the things I can do to you. I plan on sending you into orbit...your feet won't touch the ground!" 

"Chakotay," she answered a little anxiously, "I’ve not been around as much as you…" 

"Didn’t you hear? I said _Trust me_!" He pulled her snugly into his breast, and rocked her gently. "Everything is going to be just perfect, my love, you’ll see!" 

He shifted her back to the top of the bed and went in search of a nightgown. Opening the drawer she indicated, he pulled out a sensual piece of flimsy blue silk from the top. He held it up for her approval, and she threw him a look of horror. 

"I've no intention of getting you overexcited, Chakotay! Dig down a bit. Find something a little more comfortable and less….well…dangerous." 

He rummaged deeper. "Less dangerous, less dangerous," he mumbled to himself, until he found a cotton gown with small flowers printed on it. It was much less revealing, and she nodded her approval as he held it up. 

She smiled at his obvious disappointment, as he brought it over and slipped it over her head. "I’ll wear the other one for you some day." 

"If you wear that one for me, I promise you…you won’t have it on very long!" 

He settled her down and brought her some books and padds to read, before leaving her for some peace and quiet. He settled himself in the lounge, and when he next looked, she was asleep again, her head tipped to the side, books scattered across the counterpane, a padd falling from her hand at the edge of the bed. It dropped to the floor with a clunk, but she barely registered it. He smiled at the sleepy head with the tousled hair, and his heart swelled. He just loved her. What in the universe had ever possessed him to think for even a moment that somebody else could take her place in his life? 

Later, Sam and Naomi relieved him for a few hours, and Kathryn was awake enough for some of the time to enjoy their company. Naomi had been rather traumatised by the whole incident, and the girl was greatly reassured to see her Captain on the road to recovery. 

He used the time to take a shower and check up on the ship and the crew. Although he was technically no longer responsible for anything, he knew he owed the crew his attention, and that Kathryn, when she was feeling alert, would still want to be apprised of what was going on. Indeed she did pump him for information during a relaxed and pleasant evening conversation. Captain Wilcox stopped by briefly to inform her of the ship’s status, and covertly assess the Captain’s state of health. He assured her that everything was fine, but eight hours in her chair had convinced him that Voyager was no run of the mill ship. She had her quirks and idiosyncrasies, which the three discussed fondly for a while. 

And when night came, Chakotay climbed into her bed to sleep beside her. To his delight, she never made the slightest objection, except about one thing. He was snuggled up behind her with one arm across her belly, and she could feel his rather obvious rising interest. 

"Chakotay!" 

"Yes, my love?" he answered happily. 

"I think you’re getting a bit excited there!" 

"Mm hmm. Just ignore it. It’ll go away." 

"It’s rather hard to ignore." 

"Good. Because I sincerely hope you won’t be ignoring it pretty soon." After shifting himself away slightly, he added, "Sweet dreams!" 

"I rather think I’ll be having some _very_ sweet dreams." 

"Oh, will you now? Sounds interesting! I rather think I will too. Perhaps we’ll compare notes in the morning. But, just you remember…the real thing will be a million times better than any dreams!" 

"Mmm," she sighed. "Can’t wait." 

"Neither can I. But we’re going to have to. Doc says at least three weeks…and only then after he’s done a thorough medical exam." 

"You asked him?" she said, in some outrage. 

"I did." 

"And he told you?" 

"No. He said that I was not entitled to that information. Patient confidentiality and all that. Then I asked him, as your second in command, when the Captain was going to be fit for strenuous activity and he said…" 

"Three weeks," they said in unison. "We’ll be home by then, or stuck in debriefings," she added. 

"Too bad we won’t get to break this bed in. You know how much I fantasised about you in this bed?" 

"Well perhaps we can sneak back on board some time and make up for it." 

"Maybe. And maybe we can try out the sofa and the desk in your Ready Room, while we’re about it." 

"Chakotay, what kind of a girl do you think I am?" she asked, trying to sound horrified. 

"A rather venturesome one actually. I always thought you rather a gung-ho kinda gal." 

She laughed. "Well, you…are just going to have to wait…to find out," she teased rather huskily. 

Some time passed, before Kathryn broke the silence with a sniffle. "Chakotay?" she said a little anxiously. 

"Hey, what’s wrong, my love?" 

"I’m sorry…I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long…and now we can’t…we have to…" 

"It doesn’t matter…really it doesn’t. I always understood, and what’s happened now is not your fault. Our time will come… and it’ll be worth the wait, you’ll see!" 

"Even so…I know how hard these seven years have been on you. I can hardly believe you still want me…after all this time. I’m so lucky!" 

"So am I!" he said, pulling her closer and feeling her tremble at his touch. Suddenly he found himself thinking that he was holding the most precious thing he had ever touched. "So am I!" he whispered in her ear. 


	5. Chapter 5

The door chime woke them at 08.00 the next morning, and they had both slept rather well. They looked at each other rather dazed for a few moments, before it rang again insistently. 

Chakotay got up quickly and threw a dressing gown over his pyjama bottoms. Opening the door he was confronted by two strange women, one with silvery blonde hair swept up into a bun, a rather domineering lady in her seventies, and the other a plumper version of Kathryn with light brown hair. She looked about forty. It took a few seconds for the penny to drop. They were Gretchen and Phoebe Janeway. 

"Oh, I’m sorry…I thought this was Captain Janeway’s cabin," said the elder of the two, who was carrying a huge bouquet of flowers. 

Chakotay stepped aside. "It is. Please, come in. You must be Mrs. Janeway and Phoebe? We weren’t expecting you yet." 

"Clearly not," said Gretchen with a hint of disapproval as she entered the room, followed closely by her daughter. She looked around, observing the vast numbers of flowers already filling the room. "I see I’ve been beaten to it!" 

"Your daughter is a woman much admired and adored, Mrs. Janeway." 

"So I see. And you are?" 

"Commander Chakotay. First Officer of Voyager." 

"Oh!" she said in understanding, "The man I’ve heard so much about! My daughter is forever singing your praises. Forgive me, I should have recognised you. Now where is she?" 

"Confined to bed, I’m afraid. Through there!" he said, gesturing to the bedroom door. 

The two women crossed the room in flash, and pushed their way through the doorway yelling, "Surprise!" 

"Mom! Phoebe!" Kathryn exclaimed delightedly. Gretchen set down the flowers, and the women embraced tearfully. Some time was spent diplomatically evaluating the changes seven years had brought and how Kathryn’s recovery was going. Gretchen thought Kathryn too thin and too pale, but the joy all three felt at being reunited was very moving. Chakotay hovered well out the way in the lounge, until the tears were spent. 

"We weren’t expecting you for another three days!" 

"Well, that’s obvious!" said Gretchen, disapprovingly casting her eyes towards the lounge. "Tell me, Katie, you’re not doing something inappropriate with your First Officer, are you?" 

Chakotay, picking up the thread and anxious to set the record straight, came to stand in the bedroom doorway. "It’s not what it seems, Mrs. Janeway. I’m just looking after your daughter during her convalescence." 

"We’re not doing anything inappropriate, mom," said Kathryn. 

Gretchen’s lips twitched, and one corner tipped up into a rather familiar smile. "Pity!" she said. 

"Yet!" added Chakotay, fixing Kathryn with one of his dazzling smiles. She smiled back, and the exchange wasn’t unnoticed by the other two women. "Can I fetch you ladies a drink?" There was a chorus of requests, which he set about delivering. 

"What a treasure!" he heard Phoebe say from a distance. "Katie, wherever did you find him?" 

"Only about seventy thousand light years from here…I had to go to the other end of the universe just to find him." 

"Hell, I think I'd have got myself lost in the Delta Quadrant just to cosy up to him! What a difference from that bore, Cavitt. And so handsome too!" 

"Eyes off, Phoeb, he’s mine!" 

"Oh, I don’t doubt that for a second. I saw the way he looked at you." 

"So how come you’re here so quickly?" 

"They gave the _Independence_ special dispensation to travel at warp," supplied Gretchen. 

"That seems hard to believe." 

"There’s a whole bunch of admirals, dignitaries and…would you believe…the Federation Vice-President on board…not to mention hoards of journalists. They’re going to beam onto Voyager at 12.00 hours. Owen’s already here, of course. There’s to be a full muster of the crew in the cargo bay to greet them. You’re excused, however." 

"Oh…I have to be there!" 

"I was afraid you’d say that!" 

"Kathryn, you can barely stand," said Chakotay coming back in with the drinks. 

"I can stand for a couple of minutes. You can be there beside me, and we can have a chair at the ready if I need it." He handed her a drink with a sigh. He knew there was no point in arguing with her about this. Her mind was made up. 

"Darling, you mustn’t overdo it," said Gretchen in a last futile attempt to dissuade her. Kathryn looked at her resolutely, and she fell silent, for she also knew only too well there would be no changing her daughter’s mind. 

"So what do you think of the ship? Is she as good as you remembered her?" 

"She’s looking good. Well, what we’ve seen anyway…which isn’t much. We came here straight away. And I’m not sure I can remember that much from that tour we had all those years ago." 

"They have a holographic mock up at the Kennedy museum. I took the boys there once or twice…they were enthralled, especially as their Auntie Kate was in charge," said Phoebe. "I’ll tell you later how accurate they got it. Mom could never bear to go there." 

"Too painful. But maybe I will now." 

"I’ll give you a tour of the real thing, if you like," said Chakotay. 

"Later, perhaps, Commander." 

"Call me Chakotay, please Mrs. Janeway." 

"And you must call me Gretchen." 

"How are the boys? They must be so big now!" asked Kathryn of Phoebe. 

"On board the _Independence_ , and dying to take a peek," said Phoebe. "But we thought the two of us would be enough for you to start with. We didn’t know how we’d find you." 

They chatted for some time about Phoebe’s teenage twins, and Chakotay began to feel a bit redundant, so he decided he would leave the Janeway family to themselves for a couple of hours. He took his leave, and Kathryn immediately reeled off a list of things she wanted him to check on while he was gone. 

"Kathryn, will you just forget about the ship for a while, and concentrate on getting well. Stop worrying about her. She’s in good hands." 

"You know I can’t help myself!" 

"I know. But there are better things to fill your pretty head with. Why don’t the three of you spend the day making wedding plans?" he suggested provocatively. 

"Wedding plans??" chorused three shocked voices. 

"You’re getting married? Katie…why haven’t you told us?" Gretchen scolded her daughter. 

"Because…because _we_ haven’t exactly talked about it yet." Kathryn answered rather indignantly. This shocked Gretchen and Phoebe into silence. 

"No. We haven’t. But I’m sure the three of you can sort it all out between you. Just tell me when to turn up…and I’ll do as I’m told." He looked fixedly at Kathryn, wondering if she was going to object to this turn of events. He watched with fascination as the wheels turned in her mind. Then he threw her one of his huge dimpled grins. When she answered with a beautiful grin of her own, he knew she wasn’t going to be difficult. 

"Okay, ladies, I’ll leave you to it!" He backed out of the room, studying their faces with some relish. Kathryn was smiling, well used to his teasing. Gretchen Janeway was looking puzzled. Phoebe, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, looked barely able to contain herself. Not one of them was daring to look at any of the others. How he was going to enjoy winding these three up for the rest of his life! 

"I hear Betazed is _the_ place to hold a wedding!" he threw back with a chuckle as he left. 

He crossed the lounge and crept into the corridor rather cautiously. He didn’t want to be caught in his bedclothes leaving the Captain’s quarters, but there was nobody about. As the doors shut behind him, he heard the dam burst. The three of them erupted into fits of giggles…simple joyful peals of feminine laughter. He smiled to himself. This was his new family, and he liked them already. 

"Kathryn…he’s adorable. However did you keep your hands off him for seven years?" came Phoebe’s muffled voice. 

He just made out Kathryn’s response. "Well, you know, I think that’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do." Her words thrilled him, and he walked back to his quarters with a singing heart. There was not the slightest shadow of a doubt in his mind that he’d done the right thing. She was the love of his life. How close he’d come to losing her! To throwing it all away! Lessing had no idea that, although he had nearly deprived Kathryn of her life, he had in fact inadvertently given it back to her…and his to him. In a peculiar way, they both had him to thank for that. He had brought two people who loved each other very deeply back together. He’d be galled if he ever realised what he’d done. 


	6. Chapter 6

He returned at 11.30 dressed in ceremonials, and found that the Janeways had Kathryn similarly attired. The Doctor was fussing about on one of his regular visits, reluctant to let his patient go through with it. Chakotay had brought a chair to wheel her to the Cargo Bay, fully anticipating that the Doctor would be overruled. 

Together they got her down to the Cargo Bay doors, where they waited until the last possible moment to enter. She insisted on walking in, albeit rather slowly, and Chakotay gave her his arm. The crew were already assembled, and standing to attention, but nothing could stop them from cheering enthusiastically as their Captain entered. She stood at a lectern, which was useful for support, and somebody blew a whistle to restore attention. The whole affair was being watched by a universal audience spread across the Alpha Quadrant. 

A massive party was beamed in, headed up by Admiral Hayes and the Vice-President. They were greeted warmly by a welcoming party, and gradually made their way up to the Command team. Unfortunately, speeches had to be made, and unsurprisingly Kathryn could not be dissuaded from making one herself. However, they were brief, the dignitaries having been warned not to tax the strength of the Voyager Captain. Chakotay watched her carefully throughout, anxious as to whether the strain was too much, but she masked it well. Proceedings were wound up quickly, and Kathryn was whisked off by her relatives to rest for the afternoon. Chakotay and Tuvok were left to deal with the important visitors, giving the tour of the ship and answering numerous questions. 

He found himself having to give several live televised interviews, which was rather unnerving, but he came across as his usual charming self. He had to put his foot down to the journalists who wanted interview Kathryn in her sick bed. He soon found that speculation was rife in the media about a relationship between the command pair. His solicitous care of her during the earlier assembly had been easily detected. He didn’t exactly deny it. 

The whole day had been utterly exhausting, and he didn’t get back to Kathryn’s quarters till 22.30, just half an hour before the deadline security had set for all visitors to be off the ship. She was already asleep. 

* * *

  


Several similar days followed that were equally exhausting for Chakotay, but he was encouraged to see Kathryn’s strength improve daily. She could walk a bit now, and would sometimes leave the cabin, and eat with her family and the crew in the Messhall occasionally. As the Doctor’s medical reports reflected her progress, the day was set for the big show on earth. 

They were both dressed in ceremonials again, as they took the turbo-lift up to the Bridge for the last operational time. Both were quiet, strangely both sad and elated at what was happening. They gave each other reassuring smiles, as the doors opened and they walked onto Bridge. 

"Captain on the Bridge!" called Kim. 

"At ease, everyone," said their Captain. 

Wilcox and Brotak stood aside, to give the Janeway and Chakotay their chairs back, and they both thanked them generously for their help. Both were staying on the Bridge for the descent, a privilege they’d earned by being honorary members of the crew for six days. Lieutenant Barclay, standing behind Kim, had been given the honour as well, at Kathryn’s insistence. 

The beautiful blue curve of earth swept across the viewscreen, turning reassuringly about its axis, just as it had for millions of years. It hardly looked any different from when they’d last seen it. 

"Gentlemen, that is just one beautiful sight!" Kathryn said, to a chorus of agreement. 

"Captain, I should warn you…we’re on live feed to millions of people!" said Wilcox. 

"Noted," she replied, pulling a face that could only be seen by the Bridge crew in front of her. There were a few chuckles, which were unexplained to the remainder of the audience. 

She called for, and received, a full status report, paying particular interest to the inertial dampers. They had to wait twenty minutes for clearance for the descent to be given, so the Bridge crew relaxed into their usual friendly banter. Tom, waiting at the helm and making some last minute adjustments, was asked about Miral, and his response was voluble. 

Finally, the clearance came through, and the Captain gave orders to put Voyager into descent for her final flight. 

"Take her down, Mr. Paris. Nice and steady. No hiccups. We want to put on a good show for our audience!" 

"Aye, Captain," replied Tom, and turned to begin the task. 

"Come on, old girl. Show them what you can do!" she finished, speaking fondly to Voyager. This brought smiles to the faces of those around her. 

And she did. In Tom’s capable hands she descended like a graceful bird, swooping across Asia and Europe, banking near the South Pole, lifting her nose as if scenting home, thundering back up the American West Coast, performing a glorious 360, which as predicted, didn’t have everyone tumbling about the ship. Then she slowed, grazing just above the Golden Gate, swimming through showers of colourful pyrotechnic blooms, to emerge like a Phoenix and hover majestically above the Presidio. Finally, she delicately descended the last few metres, struts extending to grapple the firm Terran soil. Home. 

"Great job, Tom! Perfect landing! You've excelled yourself!" said Kathryn, squeezing his shoulder. He beamed with pleasure at his Captain's praise. Then she ordered the engines to be cut, and signed off amid the whoops of jubilation around her. 

Three hours later, the entire crew was assembled in the Cargo Bay again, as the ramp opened slowly to admit the unfamiliar earth-light. There was a deafening roar from outside. Vast crowds could be heard cheering from the environs of the Presidio. 

The lowest crewmembers descended first, to greet the crowds and embark the carriages to take them on the parade. Tuvok had it all regimented, so that the process, at least this part of it, went smoothly and professionally. The Captain and Commander stood proudly watching their crew leave the ship. They would be the last to go. 

The ensigns left. The senior officers went, including the Doctor and Seven until finally Kathryn and Chakotay were left standing alone. 

"Are you ready for this?" he asked. 

"Not really, but I guess we’d better get it over with." 

"Relax and enjoy it. You’ve earned it!" He reached up and smoothed her uniform, adjusting one of her pips, and then brushing his fingers reverently over the rest. "I doubt you’ll still be wearing these by the end of the day!" 

"They’re rumours, Chakotay, that’s all." 

"Oh, they’re more than rumours, I haven’t the slightest doubt." 

"Thank you, Chakotay. For everything. I couldn’t have done it without you." He smiled at her. "I think we’d better go. We’re letting the side down here. Tuvok will have some severe words for us!" 

"Just a moment. There’s one thing missing," he said, reaching into his pocket. He produced an beautifully intricate ring, which he held out to her with twinkling eyes. If either of them were aware that the cameras were picking up what was going on they gave no indication. "Your hand, please, Captain!" he ordered. 

She smiled, and obliged by lifting her left hand, and he slipped it on her ring finger, bending to kiss it in place. "Shall we?" 

Kathryn turned, took a deep breath, and slipped her arm through Chakotay’s. Together they walked purposefully down the ramp to be greeted by deafening cheers and thunderous applause. The throng of enthusiastic people who had turned out to welcome them was unbelievable. Thousands upon thousands edged the landing site, and lined the parade route. They paused for a moment, stunned, amazed, yet thrilled by their reception. So, this at last was what it was like to be home! It was a moment that had been anticipated many times during their voyage, but nothing had prepared them for this. And, just as both of them were soon to discover...alone together a few days later in the quiet seclusion of their new home...reality can sometimes far exceed expectation. 


End file.
